Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Moral of the story...

Parenting can be so hard sometimes.  Wait.  Scratch that shit.   Parenting is hard MOST OF THE chucking TIME.  I have three little girls of varying ages and they keep me on my toes.  There's always some calamity that happens and our lives are " interesting" to say the least.  You all know this.  I make not up the stories I tell you.  I lie you not. ;)

 The most recent event occured when my eldest, proud to be riding her new big girl bike, pedaled around the back of the house to put away her bike.  This bike has about 7 miles on it total. 

  We've endured hours of holding the back of her bike - running our fat asses down the street promising not to let go.  Night after night.  Only to go to the store one day while my mom was watching the girls.  Of COURSE we got a call while we were out that MNM was RIDING THAT DAMN BIKE.  While we weren't there.  Without our coddling and my husband's helicoptering. 

So .. she finally rides.  BORRRRRRN FREEE!   She wants to ride every single place.  I tell her no.  Because she can ride.. but she's all wobbly and shit.  So she was riding in our driveway which swings around back... where I cannot see.  * foreshadowing musid*

  I was on the front porch with the baby enjoying the sunshine , feeling a breath of relief, when of course I heard it.   You know what I hear. 

 The one where your heart seizes in your chest and you just KNOW it's not good.  Sunshine time was over. 
I was barefoot.  Running.  
I raced around back , baby on hip,  Yelling her name to find out where she was.  Flashbacks to years back when she rolled her trike down the neighbors hill.. where I could not see her at the bottom.  I was frantically running around looking for her... not placing her screams.  THis time.. I find her behind the house.  In the back area of the driveway.  She is on her bottom  , the bike is to the side  and MOTHER CHUCK IF HER ankle ISN'T  PINNED between the pedal and the kickstand area. 


 It was wedged so tight that any movement set off a fire storm of wails.  Baby in arms, three year old near by watching in confusion , I ran to find some sort of TOOL to try and get her free.  I found nothing.   * NO THANKS TO DBD'S NON EXISTIFUCKANT ORGANIZATIONAL SKILLS*

I was FREAKING OUT inside.  Trying to think what the hell I was going to do.  

My one saving grace.  My cell phone.  For some reason I had it in hand at that moment.  Something that is not normal for me if you ask any of my frustrated phone friends <--- lies.. they'll tell you.. exaggerations... and drama ;)

BUT THEY CAN ALL SUCK IT.. because I had it yesterday.   I had my phone.  
I ended up calling 911 and while we waited I tried to calm her down, calm myself, stabilize the bike from movement with my leg, hold a `12 month old in  my arms and corral my 3 year old who was running loose.  I had no one around to help otherwise.  I felt so isolated.   Fucking supah mom is right. 

The fire department came and I quote, " had never seen anything like it."  After much time, tools and discussions on how best to free her.  The bike was cut apart, the wheel taken off, the jaws of life used to no avail.  My kid freaks at a birthday candle.. at loud noises.. at ROBOTS.  

Do you know what level of anxiety she was at when they brought the jaws of life machine out, complete with a generator? 

Kill me. now. 

 Eventually we moved her position and with the chain cut her ankle was freed. She got up and flitted about as if nothing had happened.  As if rocks and gravel weren't embedded in my ass, as if my heart wasn't as hard as a rock with fear.  

  She was just fine but I'm not sure I was. I held it together and kept my cool the whole time,  however afterwards I felt like a mac truck had hit me.  Physcially felt the anxiety of the entire situation hit me. 

Parenting is HARD.  You have to be prepared for everything.  Moral of my story.  Take your cell phone with you everywhere.  You just never know. 


  1. OMG!!! Thats crazy! Glad she is alright now!!! ...I really need to get me a cell phone haha

  2. Holy shit! I can honestly say I have never heard of that happening. Do you think she will ever get back on a bike again?!?

  3. Poor thing! At least she's ok! I would be scared to ride a bike again if that ever happened!

  4. So glad she is OK!

    Sounds like it was harder on you than it was on her... But that is what us Mom's do... Initial panic, then try to fix the situation. You held up well. What did DbD say about it all??

  5. Holy crap. Just reading that sent me into a panic!

    You did good! :)

    And I'm glad to hear shes ok!!

  6. OMG Jaws of life. Listen sister, you had your phone where are the pictures? Just kidding, you could have been naked and didn't notice. Nothing is worse than having your baby in a postition that you as a mom, a "supah mom" no less, can't fix. I hate that for you and am so glad it is over!

  7. Holy SHITE! I'm glad she was able to flitter about with no injury! I hope you won't be too terribly scarred for life, I've been through craziness before and you kept it a hell of a lot cooler then I did that's for sure. You truly are a SUPAH MOMMY!

  8. OMG. Thank goodness she was okay. I know that scream. The one that sends your heart into a panic and your stomach to your knees. I hate that scream.

  9. That is a crazy story! I would have never believed a little spill off a bike would require the jaws of life. It's amazing how much trouble kids can get themselves into.

  10. OMFG!!! I'm so glad she's ok. I would have been freaking out (inside of course) too.

  11. OMG!!! I'm glad she's well, but wow...!

  12. OHMIGAAAHD. I'm traumatized and obviously I wasn't even there. I'm so happy she's ok! Kudos to those firemen for getting her free without hurting her!

  13. wow
    at least you and some firemen have an interesting story to tell over diner one night!

  14. That is so crazy!!!!! I wanted to tell you I am so glad you started this blog. I love reading what you write on it!