Monday, April 5, 2010

Supah Does Vegas

Supah does Vegas 
Way back before I was Supah.  When Supah was only a vision in my blank and dazed mommy eyes.   My husband , during our formative years of only 2 children and more money, suprised me for our 6th anniversary with a trip to Vegas.  The best part WAS... that he wasn't GOING ! WOOO HOO..  Yes.  I'm a total biznotch like that.  He SUCKS  BASS to travel with unless he's drunk and happy.  And usually I'M the one DRUNK and happy .. so he's stuck driving and all grumpy boo boo at the world.  But he wasn't GOING.  

  He got it for me and my sis.  The " Nenny."   Sweet momma mercy.  What a gift it was!

I was so excited I almost pissed my pants at the mere thought of packing a bag that didnt' hold diapers, bottles nor one ounce of butt cream !  We jetted off to Vegas and while I'd love to tell you that my calm cool collective self on the plane.  Not was I.

I suck at flying.  In fact I don't remember most of the flight.  Perhaps the massive amounts of drugs I took combined with alchohol caused this.  Or not.  Perhaps I just plain don't remember the joyous occasion  because it's been THAT LONG since I've been on my own without worrying about a soul but myself.

So here's my BEST Vegas story

 We were attempting to see the Treasure Island Big Whoop Whore show.

 Right out in front  of the  Treasure Island  hotel for those of you non Vegas knowers.  Think big Pirate ships.. and scantily clad women.  Porno for pirates.  ( wink)  

Well we had a bad view.  So we decided to go to another area to get a better peek.  We weren't sure whcih way to go so Nenny suggested walking this one way.     Because she CAN do math and I can't she always wins.   It's like the law or something.   SO I fought this time.  I fought for my right to choose which way to go.  And she gave in.



I SEE this whole line of  Chinese people from far away.   All in a line taking pictures.  So I say to Nenny, because now  I'm in charge.   Mathtards RISE AND RULE!  LET'S FOLLOW THEM.. they HAVE  to know where they're going.  They obviously have a leader and he's beginning to wave them on.  So I say.. COMON' HURRY UP.  We walk together giggling and get in line  to the end of the line of Chinese tourists.  And we join their group. 

No joke. 
We are in a few pictures.  WE ARE  CHEESING like fluther muckers.   We continue to follow our new friends like little lemmings.   Bringin up the rear of their line.  Nodding our heads as they talk to us.  Our line rounds the corner and we realize that we are in line... for the tour bus.  

Awww.. smack daddy.  Ok. So Mathtards.. don't unite.  * Nenny 1 Supah 0*  So Nenny takes over.  We veer off course and follow this one path.  

 Two chother mucking  hours later we were STILL  walking AROUND THE ENTIRE FREAKING TREASURE ISLAND PERMIMETER.  I LIE YOU NOT.   It was like a labryinth maze that once you were in... David Bowie wasn't lettin you out.   It was our virtual desert.  And we were stranded.  Marching one foot in front of the other... dreaming of .. anything but walking.  At least in my case.

 Mid Labryinth... Nenny gets the hot diggity dog grumbles in her belly.  She's gotta shit something fierce and she's sportin some turtle.
Where we were?  I have no idea.  How a hotel can be THAT big.  BEyonD MY math limited  brain. There were NO PEOPle.   IT WAS getting scary.  We were in Vegas.  And there were NO PEOPLE.   There were also , no bathrooms.   She was pinching so hard she had to stop walking and breath it out.   I joked about bushes but she's all business when she's gotta poop so my funnies were lost on her. .

So FINALLY we see lights .. it was like a mirage.

Nenny is seriously breathing labor pains here.  Bent over.  Huddled.

I begin to run ahead.  I leave her to find an entrance.   I Shall save my sister.  I would ALSO like to see the damn show.    I am lightenging, I am fast.    I run like the wind.    I shall find her a bathroom!

 I never do.

She finds it first.  * Nenny 2  Supah 0*

She shits up a storm in the bathroom.  Not only did we FINALLY get to see the STUPIDEST show on EArth.. but WE got to walk the ENTIRE PERMIMETER of the Treasure Island hotel.

The .End.

I know bestow upon you .. lots of  really bad pictures.   This is what happens when you have no one to take pics for you.  But you're too self centered to take a picture of yourself alone in front of something.  Cuz that looks super stupid.  Like So:

So  you take them yourselves.  And THIS is what happens.

we decided to streak in front of the sphinx

In the LUxor.  I was obviously having a FAB HAIR DAY. 

Additional AWesome PICTURES. 

MY GIFT for MnM. 




    I laughed til I had tears in my eyes!

    Being stuck like that and having to crap is NEVAH good!


  2. I'm glad you reposted this in your own blog. It's a great story.

    What's this about a hater????

  3. LMFAO! Been there done that having to find a bathroom. And seriously, how the hell big is that hotel?!?

  4. i love the king tut!! i want one!! :)
    hey-all your pics are so low! did you ask midgets to take your pics? :)